Comings and Goings

I have four children, ages 23, 21, 18, and 14.

The 23 year old, after not living at home for four years, is home. Home for the summer, home for a last semester of college this fall. Then we'll see.

Home and remembering house rules. Pick up after yourself. Replace the toilet roll when you use it up. Ask before you borrow the car. Fill the tank. Wash your own dishes. Don't assume all the steak in the freezer is yours. Make your own bed.

Home and contributing to family life. He loves to grill. He doesn't mind physical labor, hot and sweaty garden projects. He offers his technology when the house DVD player breaks down. Nice give and take.

The 21 year old is away. Living on her own, or almost. Taking responsibility for herself, mostly. Until tuition payments are due.

She checks in more frequently than she did when she had something to prove [to herself? to us? to whom?]

The 18 year old is making lists. Phone, checking account, laptop, laundry detergent, and all the other things she needs before she moves to college dorm life.

That one spends more time considering how many musical instruments will fit in her dorm room than she spends on what clothes, books, or gadgets to pack. Latest count: violin, guitar, mandolin, dulcimer [it's small] all go. Piano [it's MINE] stays. Accordion [it's not hers either] goes back to its orginal owner. Cello, that's up for debate. Is there room in her closet?

The fourteen year old schemes and plans about having his bedroom to himself again.

And me? It's going to be quiet in my house this fall.

We're going to have to negotiate cars if the 23 year old plans to commute to school this fall.

I'm proud to see my kids accept the responsibility of independence. And I'm pleased to see they can ask for help [and a spare bedroom] when circumstances warrant that. Love to see them go, see them grow, see them live in community, see them give back where ever they are.

For a long time I've said, healthy birds leave the nest.

But healthy people know when to ask for help, and a temporary home.

Love my kids, coming and going. Growing.